After a hiatus of almost 3 years, I am back again ready to write and post once more. Part of my absence had to do with my preoccupation with future studies. As of now, I am pursuing my masters in college, different from the one I studied earlier in. My use of grammar and English has changed extensively and I’m pretty sure I have also lost most of my creative writing abilities (which is such a shame because I always wanted to be a writer since I was 7). I would never understand how law came into my life. Many people I know, at some point, have families who are in the legal profession or wanted to become a lawyer or judge at some point in their life. Not for me. History, Economics or Journalism were my plans for college majors but fate had something different in store. I don’t regret having studied law. People respect you when you say you have a law degree especially when they know you are doing a masters or post doctorate (though I’m pretty dumb and not persistent enough to be doing both haha). People run to you for legal advice when in secret, you have never done an actual legal job since graduating and have also forgotten 102% of the stuffs you learned in class. They will try to popularize you especially in the small community that I live in when the truth is that a quarter of the world are already law graduates and many of them, doing something else that fit better with their goals, interests and life aspirations (I could be one of those).
Whatever it is, finding a suitable path and career in life is difficult but trying never hurts. Life takes us to unknown paths and at 24, exploring one’s interests and skills and honing one’s abilities are never too late.
Whew, boy am I glad to be on here again, voicing out my thoughts and continuing with my writing. After a three hour exam in an auditorium where I was thrown in with two hundred other students, I hurriedly filled in the answer sheets with vague theories and facts I crammed in at the last moment before entering the room. I didn’t stop but kept on writing and writing as I raced against time. By the end of that grueling three hour session, being glued to my seat and with my ink splattered across the desk, I had to call it a day off. So, I spent the rest of the afternoon reading Jhumpa Lahiri’s, Interpreter of Maladies, while bearing the painful cramps on my right palm and my delicate little fingers. Never in my whole three years of college had I written so much than I did today. It was scary and all the while I heard the clock ticking away, I kept thinking to myself I was running out of time. When I looked back at my question paper, there were five more questions left to answer!! Thank God, I managed to finish it all in time and thank God, it’s almost over. There is nothing worse than failing an exam especially when you have studied so hard for it. But hey, hard work always pays off in the end.
With two other exams left and a three day gap between each, I am left with a good amount of time to study and just relieve myself of all the stress. I also feel that my writing has gotten a bit worse after having not written anything during these past few weeks or maybe I am just being too critical of myself? I don’t know. With a summer internship ahead of my schedule, it’s going to be a struggle finding the time to write and practice my writing AND review all the stuffs I learned this year. But first thing first, I need a proper vacation and fresh air. I have been imprisoned in my room for so long it feels like a different planet outside.
(Btw, I know the featured image has nothing to do with the content but since I like it, I thought it may fit in somehow.)
Finding the time to write my blog is painstakingly difficult. By the end of the day, I’m just so worn out, too exhausted to do anything except lie on my bed and go to sleep. The past week has been monotonous, going back and forth from college to home, flipping through pages of my thick textbooks or trimming through bundles of stained yellow papers and old assignments in preparation for my impending exam next month. I wonder how different work life would be from uni life once I’m finally out of this lame tedious routine. Sometimes, all I just want to do is pack my suitcase, leave this miserable place and fly off somewhere, to travel and see the world. However, my current situation totally prevents me from taking such an action. With the surmounting tuition fees that increase every year and the fact that I am halfway through getting my degree, it would be the stupidest decision to quit and start over with a different degree. I’d rather not plunge into that. And so, I’ll toil and labor for another two and half years, in preparation for a world I have no intention to be a part of.
Sometimes, I think in my heart that law school must be the biggest mistake of my life. It’s a constant debate of my own, an ensuing argument that takes place inside my own conscience. I don’t see myself as that fearsome, artful litigator, taking her stand in the courtroom in front of the judges and jury, and is so exceptionally skilled and persuasive in her words that she even leaves her opponent speechlessly impressed. I am a person of few words. I am, in other words, someone who enjoys communicating through writing, like what I am doing right now.
After a tremendously long two-year hiatus from blogging, I am relieved to be finally back and totally thrilled to post my opinions, photos and writing prose here once again. Two years is quite an extensive gap and I just realized how much I have changed throughout this huge span of time. I also realized that I’ve run out of my usual creative juices, owing to my spending of two and a half years reading bland, tedious legal books and essays.
Some people may disagree but I honestly believe that reading legal work is dreary task and sucks out one’s energy at the end of the day. After going through pages of some will, you feel completely drained out and don’t feel like continuing anymore. But there’s no other option because you have to do it anyway. It’s like reading a telephone bill or being forced to count the number of grains in a sack, if it could be anything worse than that.
Turning through pages of a Constitutional Law textbook or Jurisprudence is a whole different experience though as so much of it relates to philosophical ideologies and linking their relations with legal theories. The conglomeration of so many vast and extensive ideas and theories is fascinating. In fact, the fundamental of law originates from philosophy itself. (I bet you already know.)
On the good side, it’s wonderful to immerse oneself in the study of law. You get to learn so many new concepts, terminologies and ideas that a normal humanities degree might not offer. And of course, it trains you to become a lawyer or any position in the legal field. On the bad side, it’s totally pointless for a literary enthusiast and creative writer, desiring to make a name for herself but just can’t anymore because she has run out of ideas to write a nice story or poem. Sad story, indeed.
I know it was dreadfully boring reading this. Check out my older works if you want more inspiration. I just don’t have enough ideas to put forth yet.