It has been nearly two months, in fact, I believe it must be more than that, since I have last posted anything on my page. As a result of busy class schedules, endless projects, tests and assignments, my entire existence has been infiltrated by the effects of university life. I am tired, worn out and just lost for words to pen down at this point. Yet, I will still go on because I feel writing is the only way to escape myself from all the pressures and chaos that has evaded my life.
So here I am posting this little update at 5:14 pm – a slight ample of time I got before I head off to finish another school assignment in an hour. And I also apologize to all my followers who have been keeping up with my posts but haven’t been able to read them as I am such a sloppy irresponsible blogger. 😄
Note: I know that’s a very uneducated image I put up there but I felt like I had to do it since it’s what I am feeling right now.
Finding the time to write my blog is painstakingly difficult. By the end of the day, I’m just so worn out, too exhausted to do anything except lie on my bed and go to sleep. The past week has been monotonous, going back and forth from college to home, flipping through pages of my thick textbooks or trimming through bundles of stained yellow papers and old assignments in preparation for my impending exam next month. I wonder how different work life would be from uni life once I’m finally out of this lame tedious routine. Sometimes, all I just want to do is pack my suitcase, leave this miserable place and fly off somewhere, to travel and see the world. However, my current situation totally prevents me from taking such an action. With the surmounting tuition fees that increase every year and the fact that I am halfway through getting my degree, it would be the stupidest decision to quit and start over with a different degree. I’d rather not plunge into that. And so, I’ll toil and labor for another two and half years, in preparation for a world I have no intention to be a part of.
Sometimes, I think in my heart that law school must be the biggest mistake of my life. It’s a constant debate of my own, an ensuing argument that takes place inside my own conscience. I don’t see myself as that fearsome, artful litigator, taking her stand in the courtroom in front of the judges and jury, and is so exceptionally skilled and persuasive in her words that she even leaves her opponent speechlessly impressed. I am a person of few words. I am, in other words, someone who enjoys communicating through writing, like what I am doing right now.
I can’t believe I finally made it and I’m here, typing out my first post for 2015. Life has been a busy road for the past one year. And these past nine days since the first rays of dawn in 2015 shone bright through my curtain as it spills softly on my white bedroom wall, I just realized how much has transpired up to now. Sometimes, it is easy to forget about the little things that happen in our lives, of small gifts we do not consider too great. But it is these small gifts that become a bigger part of our lives.
For one thing, I believe one of these gifts is my family. For those who have lost a loved one or even their family at some point in their lives, I feel for you my deepest sympathy. So far, I feel lucky not to have experienced such a situation yet but I know in the future that the worse is yet to come because it’s life. Without my family, I can’t imagine where I would’ve stood. Where I would’ve been, How I would’ve lived. Without family, a society cannot be established. Likewise, without family, an individual cannot thrive. These are the people who shape our lives, who mold and create who we are as we grow in this ever-revolving cycle called life. A family is the backbone of one’s identity.
On the other hand, I might sound like I’m referring only to blood-related families but I am also referring to non blood relations as well. Family, in other words, is who make us feel at home and those who make us feel loved, caring for us and giving us shelter. As I grow, mature and discover myself each day, I anticipate with a bit of nostalgia and dread that there would be a day I’d have to leave my family behind and move away to establish a family of my own or even lose someone dear and cherished to my heart. That is how we grow and live in this world.
But who says you have to follow what everyone else does? I, for one, can answer that. And my answer is no. Life is too short, sweet and bitter at the same time. There’s too much to lose before it’s all gone. I aspire to enjoy and live while I can, achieve my dreams and experience the life I want to live. Life is too short and I don’t want to hear Shakespeare’s ‘Seven Ages of Man’ ringing tremulously in my head as I live year after year knowing that my end is nearing closer.
After a tremendously long two-year hiatus from blogging, I am relieved to be finally back and totally thrilled to post my opinions, photos and writing prose here once again. Two years is quite an extensive gap and I just realized how much I have changed throughout this huge span of time. I also realized that I’ve run out of my usual creative juices, owing to my spending of two and a half years reading bland, tedious legal books and essays.
Some people may disagree but I honestly believe that reading legal work is dreary task and sucks out one’s energy at the end of the day. After going through pages of some will, you feel completely drained out and don’t feel like continuing anymore. But there’s no other option because you have to do it anyway. It’s like reading a telephone bill or being forced to count the number of grains in a sack, if it could be anything worse than that.
Turning through pages of a Constitutional Law textbook or Jurisprudence is a whole different experience though as so much of it relates to philosophical ideologies and linking their relations with legal theories. The conglomeration of so many vast and extensive ideas and theories is fascinating. In fact, the fundamental of law originates from philosophy itself. (I bet you already know.)
On the good side, it’s wonderful to immerse oneself in the study of law. You get to learn so many new concepts, terminologies and ideas that a normal humanities degree might not offer. And of course, it trains you to become a lawyer or any position in the legal field. On the bad side, it’s totally pointless for a literary enthusiast and creative writer, desiring to make a name for herself but just can’t anymore because she has run out of ideas to write a nice story or poem. Sad story, indeed.
I know it was dreadfully boring reading this. Check out my older works if you want more inspiration. I just don’t have enough ideas to put forth yet.