Turning through the pages of my book of life, I observe and reminisce about how much times have changed. I look back at the experiences that have shaped me throughout my life into becoming who I am today. The quote, “Who am I is an answer to which there is no clear answer” rings true to my ears. I do not know where fate continues to take me at this moment. However, I do believe that our actions and decisions in life significantly control the paths of our destiny. We make who we are, as people with purposes, treading through an unpredictable journey that’s called life, although there are circumstances beyond our control that fall on us in times we least expect them to happen.
I, for one, have been fortunate enough to not face anything too dramatically tragic, only by the grace of God. Despite not being too religious myself, I believe there are some things such as our moral behavior and lifestyles that later on, reflect the events we encounter. Yet when there are instances such as death and accidents happening, in that case, how can one’s actions be blamed? This is when fate comes into the picture. I guess fate is synonymous with luck. We can never accurately predict the future due to its outcomes. Therefore, I believe that destiny is bigger than what one might think. I believe in the fact that we are all part of a fate that intertwines every single individual together, that we are millions of souls woven together in an ever-revolving cycle of chances and dreams. We are small minute beings in a world that is larger and more expansive than the depth of the universe- that there is more to reality, another life beyond death and where life is only a small stop to a long journey ahead.
In my opinion, turning a new chapter in life means carefully choosing the steps of one’s destiny. According to me, it means choosing my decisions and dealing with their outcomes even if they were not how I expected them to turn out. It means taking every opportunity as they come and to not miss out on anything, lest, I dread and regret later on in life. In other words, it means living as if I’ll die tomorrow and as if the sunset on the horizon will never descend.
I snapped this photo at a family trip in Switzerland back in 2012. We took the local train to Jungfrau, the highest peak in Europe, which lies among the sloping crevices of the Bernes Alps. As we gathered around tourists and trekkers taking photos of the magnificent view in front of us, I happened to notice a trail of black ravens soaring in the sky as they beat their strong wings against the cold air. One of them slowly sped down and balanced itself on a cable wire. So here is the shot of the bird in action.
Finding the time to write my blog is painstakingly difficult. By the end of the day, I’m just so worn out, too exhausted to do anything except lie on my bed and go to sleep. The past week has been monotonous, going back and forth from college to home, flipping through pages of my thick textbooks or trimming through bundles of stained yellow papers and old assignments in preparation for my impending exam next month. I wonder how different work life would be from uni life once I’m finally out of this lame tedious routine. Sometimes, all I just want to do is pack my suitcase, leave this miserable place and fly off somewhere, to travel and see the world. However, my current situation totally prevents me from taking such an action. With the surmounting tuition fees that increase every year and the fact that I am halfway through getting my degree, it would be the stupidest decision to quit and start over with a different degree. I’d rather not plunge into that. And so, I’ll toil and labor for another two and half years, in preparation for a world I have no intention to be a part of.
Sometimes, I think in my heart that law school must be the biggest mistake of my life. It’s a constant debate of my own, an ensuing argument that takes place inside my own conscience. I don’t see myself as that fearsome, artful litigator, taking her stand in the courtroom in front of the judges and jury, and is so exceptionally skilled and persuasive in her words that she even leaves her opponent speechlessly impressed. I am a person of few words. I am, in other words, someone who enjoys communicating through writing, like what I am doing right now.
I can’t believe I finally made it and I’m here, typing out my first post for 2015. Life has been a busy road for the past one year. And these past nine days since the first rays of dawn in 2015 shone bright through my curtain as it spills softly on my white bedroom wall, I just realized how much has transpired up to now. Sometimes, it is easy to forget about the little things that happen in our lives, of small gifts we do not consider too great. But it is these small gifts that become a bigger part of our lives.
For one thing, I believe one of these gifts is my family. For those who have lost a loved one or even their family at some point in their lives, I feel for you my deepest sympathy. So far, I feel lucky not to have experienced such a situation yet but I know in the future that the worse is yet to come because it’s life. Without my family, I can’t imagine where I would’ve stood. Where I would’ve been, How I would’ve lived. Without family, a society cannot be established. Likewise, without family, an individual cannot thrive. These are the people who shape our lives, who mold and create who we are as we grow in this ever-revolving cycle called life. A family is the backbone of one’s identity.
On the other hand, I might sound like I’m referring only to blood-related families but I am also referring to non blood relations as well. Family, in other words, is who make us feel at home and those who make us feel loved, caring for us and giving us shelter. As I grow, mature and discover myself each day, I anticipate with a bit of nostalgia and dread that there would be a day I’d have to leave my family behind and move away to establish a family of my own or even lose someone dear and cherished to my heart. That is how we grow and live in this world.
But who says you have to follow what everyone else does? I, for one, can answer that. And my answer is no. Life is too short, sweet and bitter at the same time. There’s too much to lose before it’s all gone. I aspire to enjoy and live while I can, achieve my dreams and experience the life I want to live. Life is too short and I don’t want to hear Shakespeare’s ‘Seven Ages of Man’ ringing tremulously in my head as I live year after year knowing that my end is nearing closer.